hard

Yes, yes, I know. I haven't blogged in a while. There are many reasons. The first is probably that I just haven't FELT like it. This summer has held many mysteries. I've just felt very unsettled. I think it has to do with all the changes in our lives. We pulled the kids out of private school and enrolled them in public school, I requested a transfer to a new job, Mike's job moved location and is now requiring more hours and work out of him. All this on top of everything we are already doing.

Yet, summer was good. We didn't have any exciting vacations. In fact, mostly we hung around the house. I do love to be at home. We are still so thrilled with our home and our neighborhood. Every day we feel blessed to be here.I finally was given my transfer. I'll be working at a Career and Technology Center instead of in an Autistic Support classroom. The boys are both entering middle school and all that entails. I continue to fight with our yard. That English Ivy and I are fighting to the death. So far I'm winning.

I've spent quite a bit of time contemplating what is really important to me. Should I continue with my graduate studies? Do I need to focus my time on our home and family? Can I do both? Do I sacrifice one for the other? How do I determine what NEEDS to be done versus what I want to be completed?
Nathan will need an IEP again this year. He is entering 7th grade. He hasn't had an IEP since 2nd. That's quite a long time. How much work will it take on my part to make sure he's getting what he needs at school? I don't know. So far we've been very happy with the staff at the Middle School. I love the philosophy of their principal. Nathan's old enough for transition planning and every day I think about what do both boys need to be successful (and I don't just mean can they make a lot of money) in the future. I'm focused on the future but also on the present. I must prepare my boys for tomorrow while enjoying them today. And yet, I can't forget that I have a husband who works so hard to provide for our family.

There is nothing I love more than making life easier for my men. I want them to be successful but to also remember how much they were (and are) loved by the actions I complete each day. Be it by making the boys learn to cook, handle their own money and do their own laundry or by making them pizza and serving them so they know they are loved. Such a dichotomy. Yet I believe they need both. To serve and be served.So Mike and I had decided that with all the changes happening this year I wouldn't take classes. Yet as time progressed I began to wonder if this was the best idea. I get reimbursed for classes. That may not be the case forever. The laws are changing and it will require more credits for a degree that will cover fewer students. Even if I never use the degree, if it costs me nothing but time, I can't go wrong.Yet I'm worried. What if the boys start school and they need tons of help? Well, I guess that's what I did last year. Plus I was teaching at church. I can do it for another year, right?

So many decisions. How to reconcile it all? I'll keep you informed.

These pictures were taken at the Lehigh Valley Zoo. We visited the Lorikeets. For $1 you could buy some nectar. When the Lorikeets are hungry they flock to the nectar. As you can see by the pictures, the birds were very hungry. The boys (especially Nathan) loved this experience.