Obedience

 At the beginning of May I attended our parish 40 hours services. The visiting priest really knew what I needed to hear. One of the things he said was that if we have a need, we need to pray like we mean it. No reading over a list of prayer requests will do. That really spoke to me, along with some other things he said. So I began praying in earnest for some people who were on my heart. Things started happening! I find that when I pray for others I usually also get an abundance of blessings.

At the same time I started reading the book Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. What a powerful book for any Catholic. It too has been changing my heart.

In the meantime I've been sewing and quilting up a storm. I decided to get more in my etsy shop and see if I could make the money I need to pay for gas to get to my classes in Phila. this summer. I estimate it'll cost about $500. So I've been working and pondering and had my pedal to the metal (the one on the sewing machine) so to speak. It was exhilarating.

After a day of sewing and planning and updating web sites I snuggled into my bed and picked up Matthew Kelly's book again. I've really gotten so much wisdom from this book, it's really helped me to fall in love with the Church all over again, to redefine my own mission as a Christian, to help me take a hard look at my own life and see where I could be doing better. Saturday night it wasn't just the book.

God spoke to me. Clearly. And it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

Matthew Kelly was writing about the saints and other secular people who have made a name for themselves. Why do we know about them and what made them different? They had a singleness of purpose. Bill Gates has a singleness of purpose, Michael Jordan and TIger Woods have a singleness of purpose. Mother Theresa had a singleness of purpose. To do what they knew they wanted or were called to do they put aside the extraneous things of life and poured everything into their purpose. As Christians, we all have a vocation, we are all called to love God and serve God. To do that we must have a singleness of purpose.

In the book, Matthew Kelly encourages Catholics to read the stories of the saints, to obtain the sacraments as often as possible and to study our faith. If we have singleness of purpose in our faith and in the vocation we are called to do we will be prepared when the hard times come. We need to grow strong roots.

That's when it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I was told to put away my sewing and put down roots in this last month that I have at home. My mission isn't to quilt for the world, nor are we desperate for money. God will provide. My vocation is wife and mother, my journey toward teaching. I have a difficult path coming up in June. It will continue to be challenging all next year. Are my roots solid? Will they stand up to the bad weather that may come?

Here's the rub. I KNEW God was telling me what to do. He CLEARLY wants me to clean up the sewing room and start studying and praying. He wants me to PREPARE. He has given me the gift of time. Now. It is fleeting.

But I didn't want to do it. I flat out had a conversation with God that started, "But, I don't WANT to." I said it over and over and over. Even as I said it (and I continued to say it the next morning) I knew that I would do it. I knew I had to be obedient. And I have been.

I want to create a habit of prayer and study that I can continue after I start my classes and my job. It won't be easy like it is now when I have very little else to do during the day. They say it takes a month to get into a good habit. That's about what I've got. So I'm praying and attending daily Mass and studying scripture and the saints and a few other books.

Pray for me. Tell me if you need me to pray for you. I'll pray like it matters, because we know that it does.