Uncertainty

One week until school begins. For the boys, that is. Today both boys received their pay-stubs in the mail. I'm more than thrilled that they both have paying jobs. I can't even tell you how praise-worthy it is that our Nathan has a job. He's so HAPPY. We are so happy. I'm thrilled to be a chauffeur in this capacity. And, believe me, chauffeur I am. So I guess it is also praise-worthy that I am unsettled in my occupation. 

For without this lack of occupation, I would not be so free to chauffeur the boys around and to be available for marching band uniform fittings and fall play costume making and our parish Catechesis of the Good Shepherd creating. 

Yet...I feel a little unsettled. 

I know, I know....be ye not of this world. How hard I find this command.

So I plod on each day. I'm a worker. I get it from my parents, surely. I work. I'm so thankful for my friend Amy and her business. She is in need of my services. Who knew knowing how to sew would come in handy one day when our family was in need of a little extra income?

So I'm sewing dolls. I actually am loving every minute of the doll making. To bring something to "life" that has a little personality. I think I'm discovering that I like to have new and different projects to work on all the time. I guess it's the ADD in me.

Yet I'm surrounded by so much TALENT. I'm constantly amazed at my husband's ability to play ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is put before him. I'm so thrilled that he has had a lot of opportunity this summer to branch out and to learn new things. I've rarely seen him PRACTICE as much as this summer in our 20 years of marriage. It is glorious. 

It comes back to me every day. Where do you want me, Lord? 

I'm waiting patiently. I live in this world of things that requires money and transportation and frankly, food. 

Yet, I know it is all beyond the eyes of this world. What did St. Paul say about 'now seeing through a mirror darkly?' 

How I long to 'see through the mirror clearly.' We all know that hindsight is 20/20. Having never had 20/20 vision, I've always wondered about that saying. Even in eyesight I'm a freak. I wear no glasses but yet have never seen clearly from both eyes. Perhaps this is a metaphor for my life. 

So I know that I am different. I know that I do not live as others live. Yet I know that I do not know the Lord's plan for my life. So I continue to run the race, to fight the good fight.

I am daily thankful, grateful, humble, contrite and prayerful. May your day be filled with the joy of the Lord.